Homepage Horrors: 7 Spooky Copywriting Mistakes And How To Fix ‘Em 🕸️
If you’re honest, you’re not entirely sure what you’re doing with your home page. You wonder if your ideal clients might be slipping through the cracks.
You don’t have time to weed through article after article on best copywriting practices, wondering if they even apply to you as a therapist or holistic practitioner.
I’m gonna run down the biggest mistakes I see therapists + holistic practitioners make. But fear not - I have quick and breezy fixes you can implement today.
7 SPOOKY HOMEPAGE MISTAKES — AND HOW TO FIX ’EM
MISTAKE #1: BURIED ALIVE WITH BULKY AND BORING WALLS OF TEXT 🪦
You can have the best writing skills on the planet, but if your homepage looks more like a research brief, then you’re guilty of burying your copy in too much text.
Most clients are looking you up on their phones. What looks like a short paragraph on a desktop can take up an entire screen on a mobile device! Spooky! Click away!
HOW TO FIX IT: Break up your copy to have a mix of headings, subheadings, and (short) paragraphs. Don’t be afraid to throw in some bold, italics, or CAPS to create visual variety.
MISTAKE #2: LIKE A WITCH’S CAULDRON, YOU’RE TOO WISHY-WASHY 🫧
Curiosity and openness build rapport with clients. In session, this shows up as “I wonder if…” or “Maybe you’re experiencing…” However, this ambiguity doesn’t work with website copy.
You need to be direct in your language. This ensures the client resonates with your voice while also agitating their pain points. As a result, they are motivated to take action and book a call with you.
HOW TO FIX IT: You’re probably overusing these phrases: maybe, perhaps, probably, chances are, might be. Remove ambiguous phrases from your copy and rephrase with declarative, certain language. You can use your ‘maybes’ sparingly to emphasize empathy without overusing it.
MISTAKE #3: IS THIS A RIDDLE? OR A HOME PAGE? 🧌
Are you wondering if your home page is working? (Um, obviously, ‘cuz you’re here.)
Do you stay up at night obsessing over what you’ve written? (Probably.)
Do you question if you have too many cat mugs? (NEVER.)
Does this feel familiar? Please change it up.
Repeated questions are stellar for your intake sessions, but not for instilling confidence in your copy. Your client needs to know you get them with clear, direct statements of their inner world, experiences, and stressors.
HOW TO FIX IT: Super simple! If your homepage is filled with questions, turn them into statements. The tone of your homepage will shift — and it will be a good thing! Use questions sparingly and to break up the rhythm and tone of the page.
(Also, buy another cat mug. I won’t tell anyone.😻)
MISTAKE #4: YOUR CALL-TO-ACTION IS A DEAD-END SCAVENGER HUNT 🏴☠️
It’s essential for your homepage to guide your client to take action to work with you. This is the heart of conversion copywriting.
Whether to schedule a consult call, book a session, or opt-in to your email list, you need to make it crystal (ball) clear to your client what to do next.
You don’t want too many call-to-actions because that confuses the reader - and they will click away in overwhelm.
HOW TO FIX IT: In simple language, have clear buttons that direct the client to take the next step to work with you. If you have a longer homepage or one-page-website, make sure those buttons are spread throughout the page and in an easy-to-see accent color so they are easy to find.
MISTAKE #5: INVASION OF THE COPY SNATCHERS (YOU DON’T SOUND LIKE YOU) 🛸
Write copy that mimics how you speak. Stop sounding like Janet from The Good Place, a TV show therapist, or an overly cheerful coach.
It's time to ditch the jargon, cliches, or overly formal tone. It can help to have someone outside your field help spot the sections where you sound stuffy.
HOW TO FIX IT: Read your copy out loud. Bring in more conversational phrases – or slang. Ditch the jargon and play around with sentence structure, symbols, and punctuation. Defy some grammar rules! Ya get me?
MISTAKE #6: LOOK AWAY! NOT ANOTHER BRENE BROWN QUOTE! 🧟♀️
Oh, the horror! I beg of you — no more quotes by philosophers or public figures (no matter how awesome they are) in your above-the-fold/hero sections.
You have 3 seconds to get your readers’ attention and have them keep reading.
This is precious, valuable space on your website — and you’re filling it with someone else’s words. Whyyyyy?
FIX-IT-NOW: Delete that quote and put in something (anything!) else there. If you’re not sure, even the phrase: [Service] for [Niche] is a good start or a photo that demonstrates your ideal clients reaching their desired goals.
MISTAKE #7: THE CASE OF THE MISSING PROFESSIONAL (DUDE, WHERE’S YOUR PHOTO?) 💀
When your ideal client visits your website, they start to get a feel for you with your tone, writing voice, and words. But the human brain needs images, too. Most importantly: your awesome, dazzling face.
When you have a photo of you on your home page, it helps your copy resonate even more powerfully with your reader. It allows them to connect the dots — and imagine being in the room (or Zoom) with you.
HOW TO FIX IT: No more phantom-of-the-office therapists or practitioners. Add an engaging, professional headshot to your home page - or two! (No selfies, please. We can tell.)
LET’S MAKE YOUR COPY TO DIE FOR 👻
IT MIGHT BE TIME TO HIRE A COPYWRITER IF YOU…
You aren’t clear on your ideal client–or the specific pain points and needs of your audience.
You have a hard time breaking away from technical or academic writing.
You don’t know how to connect the dots between your client’s experience and your services without feeling “salesy”.
You’ve been told your copy doesn’t match your authentic personality.
You have a hard time getting to the heart of your message.
